is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
