I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize