turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think my nap took me to another dimension
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
there is glitter all over my balls
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