If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
