let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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