I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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