Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
