Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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