does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
