38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
