found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
