the condom got lost in my hair
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad