Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
