Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered