She said her name was "party"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
