Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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