the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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