Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
