i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
