dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
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I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
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I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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