piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
