i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
