you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
