She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
