Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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