if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
