She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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