They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
