this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize