Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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