toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
