we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
