We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
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the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Are we still banned from the library?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
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For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian