i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.