I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.