If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
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The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
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He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?