You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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