i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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