The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
