apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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