Im at strip club and am horny
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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