i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
