And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize