its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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