Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize