Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
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he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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