My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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