she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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