who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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