I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
