I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
