No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
