so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize