I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
