Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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