im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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