Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
