sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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