Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
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On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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