I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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