I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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